Billy: So, how's it going?
Refrigerator: ................

B: I take it things aren't going so well, then.
R: ................

B: Do you want to talk about it?
R: ................

B: Well, let's move on then shall we.
R: ................

B: Now, as we all know, you've been my refrigerator for almost three years now, ever since I moved into my apartment. You've stuck with me since day one, and I just want to say thank you. You really helped me through some tough times.
R: ...............

B: You don't have to say anything.
R: ...............

B: So, what's up with you? Are you seeing anybody?
R: ...............

B: Oh come on, don't be shy. Who is it?
R: ...............

B: Is it the Microwave?
R: ...............

B: You know, I heard that she has a thing for you.
R: ...............

B: Well, I don't want to embarass you, so we'll just move on. Uh, let's find out a little bit about you. First of all, where are you from, originally?
R: ...............

B: Is that a touchy subject? I mean, we can skip it if you don't feel like talking about it.
R: ...............

B: What about brothers or sisters?
R: ...............

B: I'll take that as a 'no'.
R: ...............

B: Look, do you wanna do this another time or what. You obviously aren't up to this right now.
R: ...............

B: Is there something wrong? Why are you doing this? Is it something I said?
R: ...............

B: Well, I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on.
R: ...............

B: ...............
R: ...............

B: ...............
R: Look, I'm not going to talk to you until you turn that fucking tape recorder off.

B: What?
R: Look dude, I'm just a fucking refrigerator, okay. You put food in me and I keep it cold for you. That's it. I don't wanna be your fucking friend. And I certainly didn't agree to do a goddamn interview with you. So turn that fucking tape recorder off.

B: No!
R: Turn it off!

B: Make me!
R: Alright you asked for it buddy.

(rustling noises)

B: Hey! That's my leg!
R: You like that bitch!

B: Hey! What are doing with that? Put that away! No ple------

(tape ends)